Can't find Mr. Right?

Subject: Can't find Mr. Right? Wed Aug 27, 2008 11:36 pm

Can't find Mr. Right?

By: Peter Hector

Ways to Compromise without settling

1. Be Approachable.

A self confident independent woman may assume that eligible men would see her as a valuable asset to a relationship and flock her for dates. More often than not this does not happen. Why? Men may not openly admit it, but an attractive independent and self -confident woman can be intimidating to them. And many times men overlook them assuming they are already spoken for.

Some of the career women I interviewed however said. Men hesitate to date us because they feel our standards are not easy to live up to." Men on the other hand say they can quickly recognize a woman's unwillingness to compromise in a relationship, and it's for this reason they shy away.

Subject: Re: Can't find Mr. Right? Wed Aug 27, 2008 11:38 pm

Five ways to make your self more approachable.

Let the world know you are single.

Be friendly. Initiate conversations by asking questions and making interesting statements. Show interest when listening to others.

Don't be aggressive. Smile, -- a pleasant relaxed smile without being false.

Use your sense of humor. You don't have to be a stand-up comic --- simply reply humorously to questions. ---- make people feel relaxed in your presence.

Don't appear to take up a lot of space when in the presence of others. This sends a signal of power and superiority, according to nationally acclaimed body language expert Patti Woods who says. "Women who want men to approach them must show that there is room for someone else in their lives.

Subject: Re: Can't find Mr. Right? Wed Aug 27, 2008 11:39 pm

2. Modify your perception of Mr. Right

Since childhood you've had a mental picture of the person with whom you will fall in love and eventually marry. The fact that you have not found him until now could mean, 1. He is a rare specie. 2. You do not easily attract this type of man. Perhaps it's time to consider changing your outlook. This of course is much more easily said than done; childhood perceptions can be difficult to erase, but consider this.

Say your perception of Mr. Right has always been a man who is tall, handsome, debonair and physically fit, but every relationship you've had with such men failed. You may want to stop and ask yourself why. And after careful consideration, you may conclude your image of Mr. Right might be a lifelong fantasy that bears no relevance to the person you are now.

Another example is a woman who grew up with parents who always struggled to make ends meet, may instinctively be drawn to a man who possesses all the attributes of a good provider. She is attracted to this type of man although she is fully aware that like herself, today's woman is capable of providing for herself and family. So instead of clinging to your lifelong fantasies and holding out for yesterday's Mr. Right, change your focus to include men who can compliment your life as it is today.

Subject: Re: Can't find Mr. Right? Wed Aug 27, 2008 11:39 pm

3. Be flexible in your dating choices.

Always keep an open mind. Not everyone will be a perfect match, so don't eliminate a prospect because at first glance he does not meet your requirements. Get to know him better and allow nature to take its course. You may be pleasantly surprised. He may impress you in so many other ways that not driving a Ferrari or looking like Arnold Swartzenegger no longer are important issues to you.

4. Let go of past prejudices

You may have eliminated a certain group or groups of men from your list of eligible prospects. Perhaps you had an unpleasant experience with one or more of these groups and vowed never to date for example, another married or divorced man or even a musician. That was when you thought finding Mr. Right would be easy. But prejudging a man before you spend at least an evening with him may cause you to miss an opportunity of finding the one that's right for you.

Subject: Re: Can't find Mr. Right? Wed Aug 27, 2008 11:40 pm

5. Look again at the people around you.

Overlooking the people around you is common when your primary focus is finding the perfect partner. Most likely you may have already decided no one you know fits the picture. Take a step backwards and look at the people you already know; for example guys you date casually. Even though you have eliminated them as your possible Mr. Perfect, you may still maintain friendships with them. Perhaps you share common interests or maybe one or more of them is in love with you but never got the chance to let you know. It won't hurt to open your mind once again to the possibilities, give them a second chance. Sometimes our decision to be flexible can cause us to see things from a different perspective; and changing our outlook may open a floodgate of possibilities we never knew existed before

Subject: Re: Can't find Mr. Right? Wed Aug 27, 2008 11:55 pm